This week’s Trauma Llama comes to you from the reigning Trauma Llama Queen, erotic romance author Bronwyn Green. She’s been brave enough to submit multiple hilarious tales for my Trauma Llama posts. The first one was about her son and a mishap with those evil Easter candys, Peeps. This week’s features fun with subways, or not fun as the case may be. [skip to it!]


Check out book two in her Witch Way series, Sensuous Summoning (or check out ALL her new releases here).

While casting a protection spell, Rowan Spencer gets the shock of her life. The spell goes very, very wrong, and she accidentally summons an ancient Celtic god.

A gorgeous, naked god.

Until Gwydion’s duty is complete, he’s bound to the human who summoned him. But as the poisons of earth drain him, he finds binding Rowan for his pleasure is sensuous task he’d enjoy for a lifetime—a lifetime that isn’t theirs to have.
Buy it here!


Here’s Bronwyn’s Trauma Llama tale:

The lovely Anya put out a call for Trauma Llama tales and since I’m fairly certain I may be the reigning queen, of Trauma Llamaland, I thought I’d share this one.

Fellow author Brynn Paulin and I were in NYC at writing conference. We’d gone out to dinner with some chapter members and some of the women said they wanted to ride the subway, but were afraid to do it on their own. So Brynn, her dh and I, who’d been riding the trains all week, went with her and decided to ride the F train since it was on the way back to our hotel. That’s when things started to go awry.

There were these handy automated ticket machines. Put in two bucks, and it would spit out a ticket, then you went to the turnstile slipped the ticket into the reader, the machine clicked and you pushed open the turnstile…at least that’s how it’s supposed to work.

Unfortunately, it was a full body turnstile instead of the waist-high ones I was used to. Having used my last two dollars, I stood in line behind my friends and waited my turn. I fed the machine my ticket and tried to walk through.

It didn’t work.

Brynn patiently stood on the other side of the turnstile and passed me two dollars and told me to get another ticket…so I did.

Same thing.

Brynn, slightly less patiently, handed me another two dollars.

Same thing.

By now, I’ve got about 20 New Yorkers standing behind me trying to give me advice on how to get through.

“Just go real, slow, girl and then push—real slow…then push.”

“Okay, what ya hafta to do is push and walk, push and walk.”

“You can do it, girl. You can do this.”

I think we went through this scenario two more times. I’m laughing so hard at this point I’ve got tears rolling down my face and I can hardly stand up. There was a little old woman who kept asking Brynn if her friend was okay—as though I was some sort of escapee from a mental hospital.

Brynn, wearing the expression she usually saves for her misbehaving children, sent me back for one more ticket. The very nice people in line let me through again, and I fed the ticket into the machine. Before I could touch the gate, Brynn finally snapped, “Don’t. Touch. Anything. Just. Walk.” She then proceeded to pull the gate toward her, and of course I manage to walk right through.

We got through in time to make the train where many of the poor souls who had been standing behind me were already seated. When I entered the car, several of the people clapped and cheered. One guy yelled, “You GO girl. I knew you could do it. I just knew it.”

Sometimes, I feel like my purpose in life is to be a walking talking cautionary tale.

So…anybody wanna go on vacation with me? 😉

 

After reading her Trauma Llama tales, I can say YES, vacationing with Bronwyn is bound to be a blast!

Do you have a Trauma Llama story you’d like to share? Prod me on Twitter (@AnyaBreton) or e-mail me anya at anyabreton.com 🙂