Chats with My Guy – October Recap
Here is a recap of the Chats with MG I post over on my Facebook page.
5:16 btw i think i have an addiction
5:16 To turnovers?
5:16 I bought 3 more polishes at walmart
5:16 Cause im good with that
5:16 and i thought about not telling you
5:16 but that’s one of those signs of addiction lol
5:16 We’ll cut you off
5:16 so i need to be banned from buying anymore polish for a month or something
5:17 Introduce you to meth
5:17 but YOU could buy them for me…if say, you saw something I couldn’t live without in Nashville
5:17 like for example, holographic polish
5:17 But then i’d be an enabler
5:17 you are an enabler
5:17 Who me?
5:17 in my defense
5:17 2 were $2.97/per
5:18 and the other one was less than $7
5:18 Oh well thats like buying nothing at all
5:18 I bought a soda today and it was that much
5:18 but im standing there in front of a new display
5:18 “i need that for a blog post”
5:19 should have never started that blog
5:19 *it’s* enabling me
5:19 So i need to confront your texan
MG: *looks at my screensaver* Is that Jupiter?
MG: That’s Jupiter. What are you doing with Jupiter?
Me: Uh, it’s just one of the default photos on the Mac screensaver.
MG: Oh, I thought you were into Jupiter. The god of…um… *looks at me*
Me: I don’t know. That’s the Roman equivalent and I forget which Greek god he is.
MG: *grabs his laptop* *minutes pass* He was the god of gods.
Me: Ah, so he’s Zeus.
MG: No, he’s Odin.
MG: Oh, it also says another name for him is Jove.
Me: *still staring*
MG: Also known as the best Unix editor.
Me: Sweetie, no one has used Jove in like 15 years.
MG: *I* have.
Me: When was the last time you used it?
Me: *whines* Sally Beauty sent an email. You know what that means
MG: you need to delete it sight unseen
Me: Too late. Now what do I do?
MG: You wait until I can evaluate your decisions and decide if it’s practical or a compulsion
Me: heheh compulsion
Me: [regarding an e-mail] ok sent with your final suggestion
MG: rut roh, now I’m to blame!
Me: nope nope, if I put my name on it, it’s my fault
MG: nah, it’s our fault. We’re a unit, not unlike voltron
My guy has very definite opinions on Internet slang & abbreviations.
(I haven’t corrected his horrible tablet-typing)
Anya: *sends a funny photo*
MG: Heh it made me snicker but not laugh out loud
MG: Heh i told you i would never use the abbreviation
Anya: you have. Your iPad made you do it. because I recall you typing to me “Lol”
MG: Which is why therir the devil
Anya: and I’d say “Oh, you’re on the ipad”
MG: Nope i tapped a smiley and itvwas a trap
Anya: nope. that came out as LOL. And I went “wow, its that funny?”. and you said “I tapped a smiley and it was a trap”
MG: *playing Borderlands 2* I think I’m done.
Me: With the game?
Me: For now? Or for good?
MG: For now. You know I don’t like games that are slow. But everyone is playing it so… *long pause* And yes, if everyone jumped off a bridge, I’d jump too.
Me: It’s only fair. Since you infect them and then they jump off your bridges.
MG: But my bridges are awesome. *pause* They have flying buttresses.
Me: I’m hyped up. I think I need techno for editing. My other music is apparently too slow.
MG: Then you should crank it up to Dubstep.
Me: *almost spits out her orange soda*
Me: *spots a bumpersticker on Chrysler Sedan circa 1995 that says Stormchaser* That… I don’t even have words.
MG: *looks* Yeah, I don’t think that would hold up well in a tornado
MG: Oh! You know what would make a good stormchase vehicle?
Me: *waits for it*
MG: A pick-up truck with a 5th wheel. *dramatic pause* And a mobile home on the back.
Me: What? Ohhhhh. Nah, baby, that would be storm BAIT.
MG: *snorts* But it would be perfect…you know, because they say tornados always go for mobile homes.
Me: Yeah, I got it.
MG: They could put their doppler rader in there. Think of how well that would work.
Me: I don’t think they actually want doppler radar to go up in a tornado. They want their little remote bleepy things to go up.
MG: They could put their little remote bleepy things in there. Think of how well that would work.
Me: *shakes her head*
MG: That’s so sad. *dramatic pause* This ad says “Grab a Slimjim, get a code.”
Me: You mean because it doesn’t say “Snap Into”?
MG: Yes. The lack of snapinto-atude makes me sad.
Me: *pulls her hair aside to show spot that hasn’t been dyed* “You know, there’s one spot you consistently miss when dying my hair…”
MG: “If there’s one spot I consistently miss, then it’s not that I miss it…that’s where the probe went in. So the hair around it has to be un-dyed so the frequency can transmit to the aliens.”
MG: *hears Atari’s cover of “The Boys of Summer” on the radio* “This song isn’t half bad when it’s not song by Tom Petty”
Me: Um, this was done by Don Henley originally.
MG: Oh. Still, Tom Petty sucks.
Me: *busts out*
MG: *sees a sign that says the exit is closed* But I want Arby’s!
MG: The exit is closed. There was a sign for Arby’s. That’s an evil taunt!
ME: Oh. But aren’t you full from the crazy donuts you just had?
MG: I’m full for those but I’m not full for Arby’s
Me: *shakes her head*
Me: “This metaphor doesn’t quite work. *reads a line from Fire & Flame* ‘sliced through Sara’s grief like burning iron.’ Maybe fiery iron? The whole metaphor is jacked.”
MG: “A heated knitting needle through a nun’s eye?”
Me: My feet are freezing and I even have on my Docs and a fairly thick pair of socks.
MG: You’re cold-blooded. Check you and see. You got a fever of three.
Me: *sees a billboard with 2 smiling old people. Reads the words* “Matchmakers? For old people? Oh wait, that’s for an RV dealer! How the hell…”
MG: “See, how it works is old women hang out waiting for someone who can afford to buy an RV. Then they snuggle up to them.”
Me: “Then that’s not matchmakers. That’s RV-diggers.”
Me: *sees a billboard for Tom Raper RVs* I still say Tom Raper needed to change his name.
MG: To Tom Non-Consensual Sex RVs?