Trauma Llama – Tali Spencer & What not to pack
I was thrilled when author Tali Spencer submitted several options for Trauma Llama tales. The one I liked best was of course the most risqué one. She bravely wrote it up for us and it was even better than I’d imagined. I’ll just bet you’re gonna love it. And if you love it, you’ll love her erotic high fantasy romances. For more about her check out her blog, follow her on Twitter, or get her books on her Amazon page.
Before we get to the trauma, check out her new book Captive Heart. Here’s the tagline:
A vengeful emperor conquered her country…now he’s after her heart.
Get Captive Heart !
Here’s Tali Spencer’s Trauma Llama tale:
Back in the late 90s, I entered into a relationship with a sexy, amazing, but geographically inconvenient man. In other words, I had to fly a lot if we were to see each other and spend the kind of time together that leads to bigger and better things. Both of us were madly in love, so every other weekend I would hop on a plane and fly halfway across the United States to be with him.
Fortunately, I worked at the airport. Because of the convenience and the fact the relationship was taking off like a Concorde, flying soon became second nature. I would pack my bag, stash it in my office, and fifteen minutes after I left my office I could be getting on my plane. Airport security was still pretty easygoing then, with few luggage searches unless something that looked like drugs or a weapon turned up on x-ray. I didn’t pack either… but on occasion I would pack a little something sexy, such as a sex toy.
One weekend I decided to pack a fun toy I’d just bought. It had several two-foot long latex strips attached to a soft penis-shaped latex handle. Yes, a whip with a dildo handle. I’d packed sex toys before and had no trouble, but not this time.
I hadn’t taken into account that airport security had just been handed over to a private contractor. Just my luck. The woman examining the luggage as it went through the detector must have spied the shape of my whip. She opened my carryon and pulled it out. All I could do was stand there in front of scores of fellow passengers while she said, “Oh, look!” and held it up for everyone to see. She then proceeded to swing it around above her head like Jessie the spunky cowgirl in Toy Story. As if that wasn’t enough, she displayed the black latex handle so everyone could see it was shaped like a penis and said, “Guess someone likes kinky!”
I’m pretty sure I was bright red. I don’t really remember. A hundred eyes were on me and I wanted to sink into the floor. I heard a few snickers and saw looks ranging from surprise to heightened interest. I was so embarrassed—and angry—I lost all power of speech. The security agent eventually returned the toy to my bag and let me proceed. She was laughing and having a grand old time. I had a plane to catch. One of the other passengers was on my plane and approached me in the waiting area to ask if I was all right. I remember saying, “Yes, but now I have to sanitize my whip!”
Needless to say, I haven’t packed a sex toy in my luggage since! Just as well, because soon after that security became even more stringent. I moved to be with my man, and we have been madly in love and happily married for years. We laugh about the incident now, but at the time I didn’t anything funny about having my sex toy shown to a crowd!
Tali adds, “I was part of the airport’s executive team, all of whom were aghast at my story, and the woman was reported for unprofessional behavior. That’s not how security personnel are supposed to treat passengers! She kept her job, but she never did that to me (or anyone else, I hope) again. :D”
Awww a Trauma Llama tale with a happily ever after! I love it
Do you have a Trauma Llama story you’d like to share? Prod me on Twitter (@AnyaBreton) or e-mail me anya at anyabreton.com 🙂