chats-with-mgMarch 31

MG: They should have licensed that kick start your heart song for Mountain Dew kickstart then they could have had a doctor drinking it before surgery and show them opening up the chest cavity and sticking his hands on the heart and it starts right up. Damn, I should have been an ad man. I could have been motherf’n Don Draper.

MG: *on why he used one giant run-on sentence* Yeah, it was a stream of consciousness. No filters, they just slow down the awesome.

April 4

While we watch a commercial for Wendy’s with the redhead chick and flatbread sandwiches:

MG: Please, for the love of god, put on the reanimated corpse of Dave Thomas.
MG: It doesn’t even have to be reanimated. They could just prop up his corpse and have Morgan Freeman narrate.

April 4

While watching a Carnation breakfast shake commercial:

MG: You know what they say: give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he becomes an alcoholic.
Me: *stares*
Mg: I don’t know where I was going with that.
Me: *busts out*

April 16

After I heard a crash in the kitchen:

Me: You Okay?
MG: The cake balls FELL!!
Me: Oh.
MG: There were only two, but still. They were awesome.
Me: At least it’s wasn’t ten.
MG: They’re better than pets.
Me: I said TEN, not pets.
MG: Oh.
Me: Wait, did you just say cake balls were better than PETS?
MG: Maayyybeee. The cake balls only threw up on the floor once.
Me: *busts out*

April 21

While watching the opening to Man with the Iron Fists:

MG: piracy is not a victimless crime. *pause* nine out of ten women are raped by pirated movies.

May 2

MG: you don’t have to play next week, but I think you will the following week.
i came across a new game I want to try that I think is your speed.
it’s called dungeon world and is billed as a conversational RPG.
i’ll fill you in later, but basically all the stuff “you” want to do in a normal rpg is possible.
like saying I cast bless on myself and wade in to battle. the GM only rolls dice for dmg, the players actually do the hurt to themselves

Me: my speed = distracted and lazy? heh
MG: nah creative writing
the gm just lays out a flowchart of an adventure
Me: WHAT
MG: and the players fless it out
Me: NO DEAL
MG: hahahaha

#EvilFlowCharts

May 13

Me: I found a dollar in the drier. It’s on top of your jeans now.
MG: Damn. It shrunk. It used to be a hundred.
Me: *tries not to laugh*
MG: *giggles crazily*

May 25

Me: I installed Virtualbox today and got it running off my Bootcamp partition. It would have gone smoother if I’d read all the directions instead of skipping ahead.
MG: *pronounces each letter* R.T.F.M.L.O.L.
Me: L.O.L.?
MG: O.G.M.
Me: you mean O.M.G?
MG: *giggling silently* W.T.F.
Me: Why not throw a ROFLCOPTER out there while you’re at it?
MG: *giggles more*
Me: *stares*
MG: T.O.C. *giggles*
Me: *shakes her head and walks away*

May 28

MG: Wow. I make you look bad in photos. You’re all haggard in this one.
Me: No, that’s how I look.
MG: Nah, you’re really pretty.

(I thought it was a good photo too!)

June 5

At Walmart:

MG: *sees a box of frozen pasta* Look, it’s by Michael Angelo.
Me: Yeah I saw that.
MG: I bet if we keep walking we’ll see something made by Don Atello.
Me: *busts out*

June 17

MG: We can turn on the computer to watch that show.
Me: But you don’t like to turn on the computer.
MG: I got a keyboard. You made me. At gunpoint.
Me: Right. I MADE you. At gun point–
MG: You were with me in spirit.
Me: And my spirit has a gun because *I* totally have one *rolls eyes because she doesn’t own a gun*
MG: Your spirit is much better armed than you are. Your spirit would never bring a knife to a gun fight.

June 20

This is what happens just about every time he tries to mess with me (it backfires).

Me: Okay, then that’s the plan for dinner.
MG: haha you made a plan
Me: I DID. That deserves chocolate *gets some*
MG: Iiiiii iiiiii iiiiiii ain’t got no chocolate
Me: 😛
MG: Is that song stuck in your head now?
Me: Nope. But I bet its stuck in YOURS
MG: Damn you