crazy-interview

Today L.K. Jay stopped by for a crazy/awkward interview. She’s chatting about her book The Policeman Who Was Afraid of the Dark, check out the blurb:

For a policeman living in a small Fenland town, dating can be murder!

 

Detective Constable Saul Watson is not living the dream. After having to leave his exciting job as an undercover police officer in The Met, he now lives in the small and surprisingly crime ridden Fenland market town of Westbech. He starts his day with a hangover, his ex-wife demanding money and the prospect of interviewing a difficult junkie street-walker who doesn’t even speak English.

 

Things start to look up when an attractive woman he met contacts him to arrange a date. But if Saul thought the previous day was tricky, then waking up to your lover’s dead body and facing the blame for her murder is a nightmare. Saul goes on the run and finds himself on the other side of the law. How far into the dark is Saul prepared to go in order to prove his innocence?

 

From the author of ‘The Ghost Hunters Club’. The Policeman Who Was Afraid of the Dark is a 94,000 word crime story that takes you on a chase from the small town Fens to the city of London, Cambridge and back again.

Buy it: Amazon US, Amazon UK

Find L.K. Jay on:

Crazy/Awkward Interview with L.K. Jay

*gestures at the empty seat beside her* Hey, L K ! Thanks for coming all the way over to corn-filled Indiana for this little meet-up. Want a piece of fancy chocolate or cheese? *eyes carefully to see which is picked*

Hmm, chocolate, or cheese? I love both, it’s like making choose between one of my children, were I to have any! Can I have both? How about some cheesy chocolate, or chocolaty cheese?

So I recall the title of this book had come from a guy in your martial arts class. Can you remind me?

Well, I had the idea of the story but I couldn’t think of a name for the project. One day, while I was waiting for a taekwondo training session, we were relocated to the drama studio in the school that we use. It was pitch black and my friend wouldn’t go in before me, I had to go into the room and switch on the lights. And then hey presto, a light bulb came on. Literally of course, as I’d just switch on the light but the title came into my head as well. My friend was, ‘The Policeman Who Was Afraid of the Dark.’

Has he read the book? If so, what did he think of it?

No, only a bit. He helped me with the research and started reading it and then couldn’t read any more, he can’t stand reading about crime and the police as he’s surrounded by it all day.

That leads me into my next question:

Q: You ditch your job and enroll in police academy. What fictional television, movie, or book universe would you want to be a police officer in? Follow-ups: What type of officer would you be and what would you end up doing the day before your retirement from the force?

A: Well I could enroll in Police Academy, the film, and then I’d get to wear a tight American police officer’s shirt. They look quite cool. And then I’d get to be in loads of sequels, so I wouldn’t be out of a job. But I can’t because I’m British and I’m fairly sure that you can’t enroll into the American Police.

So in the British police fictional universe – the coolest would be Life on Mars as I’d be in the 70s, but in an ironic way, and having a laugh with Gene Hunt. Or Ashes to Ashes, the 80s sequel. Or I could be Whitechapel, which would be quite gruesome but I’d be working with Rupert Penry Jones, who is a fully suited and certified hottie.

I do fear that I would be a bit Gene Hunt, or The Sweeney, because I’d get to chase around in tasty motors and shouting, ‘You’re nicked you slaaaaag!’

The day before I retire, knowing my luck, I’ll probably be killed in the line of duty or get myself sacked for something stupid like being caught stealing a stapler or something.

Q: What dead thing would you want to wake up next to?

A: My filthy rich and old husband that I managed to wear out in bed, but not before ensuring that I’m the main beneficiary in his will.

Or recently deceased tribbles (from Star Trek) as they would be really soft and furry. But not too dead or they’ll go a bit niffy.

Q: How do you feel about pelicans?

A: Pelicans are an outstanding animal and have a bold fashion statement for a beak. They also make an excellent pedestrian crossing.

Q: You buy a new flat and discover it comes with a ghost, the ghost is A) a whining divorcee who steals your jewelry B) a lecherous drunkard who hides the liquor C) a former librarian who edits anything you leave out (with nineteen century grammar rules) D) a former boss you never liked. Which do you choose and why?

A: I think it would have to be C), the former librarian who edits anything I left in nineteenth century grammar as it would save me quite a bit of money on editors, and would also become a bit of a challenge. Leave out a racy novel and she what she makes of that!

Q: Your life is a Carry On movie, what would the title be and name one gag?

A: Easy, Carry on Teacher, which is the day job, although there already has been a version made, but I do think I should star in a sequel. Otherwise, I could be in Carry on Chopping a martial arts comedy where a public sector worker, or mild mannered janitor, works during the day but becomes a super hero at night. Oh hang on, that’s Hong Kong Phooey – although I could make lots of smutty jokes while I’m asking men to show me their chopper. Phnar phnar.

Q: What’s the oddest thing you’ve ever done in a dojang/training hall?

A: I was sparring once, my uniform was a bit old and the cord that was holding my trousers up snapped and they slithered around my ankles. Then I was punched in the face and I was, quite literally, caught with my pants down.

Q: Fill in the blank: I’ve often fantasized about ________ a ___________ with a ______________.

A: Fill in the blank: I’ve often fantasized about slapping a celebrity with a fish.

What grade do we give L.K. for her crazy/awkward answers? Comment with your letter grade below!

Got a question you’d like to ask L.K. or one you want to see on the next crazy/awkward interview? Comment!